Resolutions

22 resolutions now that I'm 22.

1. Stop doing multiple tasks at one time. Rather, focus first on one task, then shift to another one when the former is accomplished. (For example, I have my Epidemiology readings, my Histopathology slides, and Facebook open while I'm doing this blog post. It's not multi-tasking anymore; it's counterproductivity :|)
2. Listen in class and take down notes as much as I can.
3. Write more and take more photos.
4. Exercise at least twice a week. I should try to play badminton again if I plan on joining the varsity team next year.
5. Study everyday and not just panic study on weekends.
6. Eat more fruits and vegetables; consume less coffee, milk tea (huhu) and energy drinks.
7. Choose to drink water always.
8. Watch the news and read the newspaper more.
9. Study at the library every Saturday.
10. Attend mass every Sunday. It's best to go early in the morning so that I could start studying right after.
11. Try to fill up Boinky the Piggy Bank as much as I can.
12. Organize your life always. Since making lists and outlines work for me, then I should put extra effort to make them.
13. No more procrastinating. Text and go online less.
14. Keep things simple. Be practical.
15. Learn to say no.
16. Read at least 5 non-med books this year.
17. Know your priorities and stick with them.
18. Do something good and fun everyday and write about it.
19. Do something different every month. There's no growth in the familiar and the usual.
20. Keep it real.
21. Family first.
22. Pray.

2012

Before we start a new year, it's always good to look back and reflect on the year that was. So I looked back and reflected, and I think that 2011 has been the most difficult year for me to date. I faced a lot of challenges--some of which were totally my fault while some were out of my control. I really had a hard time accepting failures and mistakes. I also realized a lot about my self that I need to work on. In retrospect, I never imagined this past year to be as whirlwind-like as it was.

But towards the end of 2011, I found a certain level of peace. I learned to acknowledge my wrongdoings and flaws, and I'm in the process of accepting these so that I could let them go or do something about them. I know that doing these will remain to be a challenge, but I believe I'll get over things eventually. With the help of the people I love and who love me back plus a lot of growing up, I'll be okay.

But don't get me wrong; although 2011 has been crazy difficult, there were loads of ups as well. All in all, there were a lot of scars, but a lot of smiles came with it, too.

Now, the annual year-ender survey:

1. What did you do in 2011 that you've never done before?

Used up one entire planner for the year. Circumcised. Became an Atenean scholar. Drank Milk Tea (and got hooked on it). Went on a road trip to Batangas with my dear friends (despite my parents' disapproval). Drank a mojito. Became an NMAT volunteer for ASMPH. Had my hair permed. Tried Zumba (and got hooked on it, too!). Worked for a politics-oriented NGO. Met Manny Pacquiao in person. Spent hours and days inside the Batasang Pambansa. Rubbed elbows with big Politicians and celebrities. Became an audience in one episode of a TV show. Brought a loved one to the ER (panicking). Ate chocolate with green mango and salt. Was absent for a major exam. Ate a ginormous burger with med friends. Got a part-time job. Used entirely my own money to buy my friends and family gifts for Christmas. Won in a big-time raffle for concert tickets, complete with VIP perks. Saw Taylor Swift perform live (and almost cried in happiness). Did a mini photography gig. Sought non-medical advice from a doctor. Got my mom an autograph from her idol. Commuted to EK. Joined a drinking game. Actually hated someone. Got a Starbucks planner without buying even one drink (I love you, Kima!). Understood what real love is (00 na, cheesy haha). Got my student driving permit. Tried to drive a car.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Sadly, I weren't able to keep all my 2011 resolutions. Fail. Hahaha. But I plan on making some for this year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Not super close, but some HS batchmates and orgmates gave birth to lovely babies.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Thankfully, no.

5. What countries did you visit?

None. AGAIN :(

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

An iPad, oven and camera please? Haha. But on a less materialistic note, more self-confidence, self-discipline and self-efficacy (just like last year). And more strength to face my fears and my flaws.

7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

• OMGOMGOMG winning tickets to Taylor Swift's Manila concert and the entire concert experience! Highlight of my year!
• Pyrolympics <3
• Finding out that my scholarship application was approved :')
• When those sweet words were said. Finally :)
• Was that August 2, when I made a super booboo? Hahaha. Sorry na, Borbs! :p
• My 22nd birthday
• Noche Buena
• November 29-30 with Tgang love! Sampalan + 9gag drinking board game + wish lanterns + Nutella + forever friends = bonding like no other :)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Getting a scholarship, hands down. It was the best blessing of 2011 for me and my family.

9. What was your biggest failure?

A loooot. Of course there's acad-related failures; then there's more personal ones. I'd rather not discuss the latter here.

10. Did you suffer any illness of injury?

Terrible bouts of dysmenorrhea ever month and some problems here and there.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Again, med books? Haha. And the Adarna children books and journals that I added to my prized collections :) Also, I discovered the thin, yellow Sharpie highlighter and the blue green Stabilo highlighter, which I love to use now!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My HS kada, my med school pals, and most of all, Borbs :)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

ATE JONI @$#%!* Hahaha. Ka-bwisit. And some people I'd rather not name.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Like last year, on transes, highlighters, photocopies, med school reviewers and books. But instead of Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts, I consumed a lot of Milk Tea, Cobra, Bacchus and Nescafe Espresso Roast--a bit cheaper but still unhealthy. Haha.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Semestral break and Christmas break! Hahaha. --EXACTLYYY! And the summer escapade with my HS kada and that sembreak EK trip.

16. What song/s will always remind you of 2011?

Party Rock Anthem, Super Bass and Love on Top! Hahaha.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

Happier or sadder? - Unfortunately, sadder. But I'm more hopeful.

Richer or poorer? - Poorer? But I'll be getting my pay soon, so richer na din siguro. Haha.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Praying. Spending time with my family and friends. Studying with real understanding.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Stressing out, procrastinating and worrying.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Spent it with my dear family, as usual. We had a simple yet happy Noche Buena :)

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?

Stayed in love :)

22. How many one-night stands?

Zero.

23. What was your favorite TV program?

Still Grey's Anatomy, HIMYM, The Big Bang Theory. The new additions were Modern Family and New Girl.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Same as #13.

25. What was the best book you read?

Robbins and Contrans Pathologic Basis of Disease 6e. Haha. Plus I'm reading One Day and I'm loving it.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Nicki Minaj! I memorized Super Bass. Haha.

27. What did you want and got?

Shoes? Haha. Seriously, my med school scholarship that our family badly needed :')

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

Hmm, I didn't get to watch a lot of movies, but I loved Tangled, Crazy, Stupid Love and The Immortals!

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 22! It was a normal school day that my friends and family made extra special. After a lunch meeting on the 4th floor, my med pals were waiting for me on the 3rd floor to surprise me. There were gifts, cakes, flowers and yummy sisig and rice! Sadly, I had to rush back to our room on the 2nd floor because our group was the one in charge to transcribe the lecture. My friends were left on the third floor "celebrating" my birthday while I was typing my heart out in class. Haha. Then, my family and I went out for dinner at North Park. Even my Dad and brother Jay drove from Tanay to Pasig on a weekday to celebrate my birthday with me, so I was really happy that we were complete. I love my friends and family :)

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Not necessarily more satisfying, but happier, I guess? Having my Dad well.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010.

Loud colors. Tucked-in tops. Shorts. Polos. Florals. Stripes. Casual vintage, basically. --SAME. It seems that my fashion did not grow a bit. Haha.

32. What kept you sane?

Not just what but who, too. My family and friends. Borbs. The idea that tomorrow will always be a brighter day.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Like the past years, I love Rachel Bilson, Kate Beckinsale, Anne Curtis, Rachel Adams, Taylor Swift, Jessica Alba, Scarlet Johansson, Kate Bosworth, and Anne Hathaway. Plus Rhian Ramos when she spoofed Super Bass and Victoria's Secrets hotties like Miranda Kerr.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

The RH bill.

35. Who did you miss?

My college and HS friends!

36. Who was the best new person you met?

Hmm, this is hard. I met a number of new friends, but I guess the best were my Blue Platito and SCOPE orgmates plus Jacq and Jill Pardo from PLM.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.

There were a LOT of valuable life lessons! But one quote that somehow captures everything is this: "I can be changed by what happens to me. I refuse to be reduced by it."

38. Quote a song lyric that sums ups your year.

I loved Videoke-singing this song during the break: "Even if there is pain now, everything will be alright for as long as the world still turns there will be night and day. Can you hear me? There's a rainbow always after the rain."

I end this post with another quote:

"May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself." -Neil Gaiman

2012 will be exciting and meaningful, I know it :)

Trust and Hope

When we feel that everything's seriously messed up and we don't know what to do anymore, we may have this tendency to bottle ourselves up, hoping that by putting a wall around ourselves, we would manage to sort things out on our own. Well, at least I had that tendency. A lot of things have constantly been bothering me no matter how I hard I try to shrug it off. Some recent occurrences even sparked bad memories that I would rather just keep in the deepest, darkest part of my head. And since it's a given fact that the best person to help us when life seems to give us pins and needles is our own selves, I thought that I had to learn to deal with everything by myself for me to become stronger and more resilient. I had to learn to become really independent and settle stuff with my self first before actually involving other people in my life.

Nonetheless, having said these, I still didn't know what I should do. All I knew was I had to jumpstart all the changes that I need to do for myself, for the people I love, and for my dreams; I had to bring my proper senses back right in time for 2012's entrance, hopefully giving me some sort of new direction. Thankfully, that talk I had with someone yesterday was like the fresh air I've been badly gasping for. He made me realize that I can indeed be alone if I really wanted to, but I don't have to be. He made me realize that hardships are better shared, especially if people are more than willing to share it with you.

So thank you, you, for sticking with me despite everything. Thank you for sharing true love and friendship with me. You are a blessing, really. I'm so lucky to have you :)

I'll probably write a year-ender post of some sort tomorrow, but for now, all I'm sure is that 2012 will be a better year for me. 2012 will surely be a year of being stronger and more confident, learning to say no, having more faith and trust, being real, and living with true love.

Now, time do my Histopath manual with a smile.

1st of December

I was studying at Dunkin Donuts El Pueblo when bang after bang after bang shook the dark heavens outside. I went out to see the beautiful fireworks of Megamall (or was it San Miguel?) setting off in the sky, signaling the start of the yuletide month.

I really love Decembers. Aside from giving students (undergrad and post grad) like us the opportunity to take a break within the second half of the school year, it is the time when people are extra giving, thoughtful and sweet. Indeed, what better way to celebrate Christmas with love and comfort both shared with others and kept in our hearts.

Christmas will always be my favorite holiday. Be gone, bad vibes. In with the happy, cheerful Christmas spirit :)

Long Walks

I love long walks. Like long bus rides, long walks are great opportunities for heartfelt talking and thinking. Just around two hours ago, I went for an unplanned 20-minute walk home with someone special (while nibbling on some soft, yummy pandesal), and I realized some things about my life:

• I'm thankful for my family. We may be far from perfect--actually we're quite a dysfunctional bunch if you ask me--but the minimal happy moments that we get together together are moments that mean the world to me. We all have our differences, issues and what-have-you, but graduations and Christmas are my favorite occasions because these are the only times we come together as one happy, laughing-and-reminiscing-altogether family. It is quite sad that we may have stopped looking forward as a team, but we will always have rich memories that bind us together.
• I should put down my rose-tinted glasses and start looking at life in all its colors.
• Age is directly proportional to the amount and severity of problems, the level of difficulty to lose weight, and the variety and number of lessons and experiences that you earn.
• When everything seems messed up, always remember that there are people who love you and who will help you see things through.
• I want a lover and a best friend rolled into one. I want to be someone's lover and best friend rolled into one. That would be really great :)
• I should choose happiness.
• I super kaduper want to make cupcakes and I super kaduper want an oven. (Okay, I didn't think of this while walking, but still. Hihi.)

Sweet September

September breezed through very quickly, what with all the daily stress and exhaustion. Thankfully though, despite the craziness of it all, I still felt that it was my birthday month thanks to my family and friends. I seriously had a simple, lovely and happy birthday. Thank you for all the wonderful people in my life, Lord.

And although I've been really down and confused recently, I've somehow bounced back. Giving up should never be an option, not until I know I've given it my all all. Because really, I know I can still push harder by believing in my dreams and believing in my self. I can do this. I CAN DO THIS.

Thank you again, Lord, for making me realize that I am not alone in this and that I can surpass my failures. That 3.5 hours spent with you was what I really needed. For now, I have to face a little change of perspective, disposition and priorities, and lot of change in studying habits. Again, mantra to self: I can do this.

As for love.. Well, I love love. Lol. I do hope you know by now that I am and will always be a hopeless romantic. I love thrills. I love frills. Still, at the end of the day, although I get clingy and dramatic at times, I am actually a simple girl with a simple wish. I know this path that we chose is and will continue on taking our time away from us, but all I really wish for is someone who's not just there. I wish for someone who wants to be with me and makes me feel that. Let's try a little bit harder, yes? Because I also want to be that someone for you.

To going on more (cheap) food trips (while keeping fit because of the pageant we'll be in HAHAHA JOKE), getting our pedicure at Nail It again, studying a whole lot more, learning a whole lot better, and spending bits of cheesy quality time in between our busy scheds. We can do this :)

GV to start a study-filled Saturday. Hello, October! :)

Ambushed

I did not expect today to be like this. First, the scary rain and the winds. Second, the blackout. Third and most importantly, the special time spent with Borbs' family.

I hate being unprepared for anything, but being ambushed by Borbs to be part of their family bonding ended up to be a pleasant surprise. Actually, I have wanted to spend time with his family for so long now, I just never thought I had the proper sense of self to face them already. You know, the thing about first impressions that come to last. Surely I did not want to be remembered as the girl their son/brother was seeing who needed Stresstabs and a heavy amount of sleep.

But like what I said, it was really a pleasant surprise. It was great spending time with his mom and his siblings. Talking to his sister who's also an Iska was super fun, as well. Borbs' family is so nice, warm and accommodating that I felt super welcome. Also, I actually learned a thing or two from them. Comes to show that sometimes, you don't always have to put your guards up. Who knows, things will turn out waaay better than you expected them to be--be it planned or not :)

What Matters Most

It's a fact that I am a crybaby, and today, I actually cried twice. The reasons of which I would not rather share, but my point in telling these is to say how much I am blessed to have my family. Thank you to my parents and my brothers for keeping me on my toes, for urging me to be strong, for reminding me that things will be alright, and for simply being there no matter what. The last time we were complete as a family was last Christmas, so having everyone together on my birthday was the best gift that I could ever have.

Aside from a great family, I also have awesome friends. Thank you for all the fattening food that you gave me today. Seriously, our ref is struggling to contain all the cakes, pastries and sweets. And the effort in making a surprise, the warm messages, the hugs, and the love? Priceless. I am really touched and I feel so loved. Thank you :)

Happy vibes on the first day of my 22nd year :)

22nd

It's 12:30 AM, which means that it's my birthday already! I can't believe it's been 22 years! I feel so old yet so young, especially since med students are like extended adolescents, but are expected to act maturely at the same time. Haha. Anyway, the school stress has made my birthday less of an anticipative event for me. I guess this is what growing up does to you--you see less of what's in it for you and value your principles, goals, and priorities above your personal desires.

That's why for my birthday, all I really want are hugs. And better study habits. And warm greetings. And time spent with loved ones. That's all. Having milk tea today would definitely just be a plus. Haha.

Today is an extraordinary ordinary day for me. As what I've said recently to someone, birthdays are not just dates that seem like deadlines to planning surprises and giving gifts. You have to look beyond that, beyond the expenses and resources, the time and effort. Birthdays are celebrated because of love and happiness. So it doesn't matter what happens on your birthday or what you do for someone's birthday, really. What's important is that love and happiness are there. It's as simple as that.

I can say that I feel loved and happy, so this is surely one great birthday for me :)

Yearning for

1. A healthy and non-sick you
2. Time to be with you
3. Time to talk to you
4. An oven
5. Blue green nails
6. A movie marathon
   
7. Cows vs. Aliens
8. Time with my Dad
9. A good, group messaging-abled cell phone
10. Endless supply of Cobra with Gingko Biloba
11. A slimmer, fits-in-my-old-jeans me
12. Hugs
13. A cajon
14. Happy, bright-colored flowers
15. Isaw and fish balls
16. A fun trip to wherever, near or far
17. Wavy hair
18. More learning and understanding
19. Sleep
20. A vintage camera
21. That pretty pair of flats at Payless
22. Motivation and discipline
23. A fresh, positive perspective

Aaaah, stress. Be gone.

Fundal Grip

Although I measured the fundal height of my antepartum patient almost 10 inches off its correct value, miscalculated my patient's AOG (age of gestation) wrong because I failed to note that February only has 28 days, and got a terror preceptor who told me that I should go to an EENT doctor because I couldn't hear the heart tone of the baby inside my patient's womb during my practical exam, today still has been a good day.

I went to a government hospital not as a visitor or as an observer but as someone doing real hospital work. I was exposed to a real-life hospital setting where three patients shared one bed and pregnant mothers patiently fell in line standing. I faced real antepartum and postpartum patients. I learned a lot. I grew a lot.

Tomorrow, I am sure, will be another good day. It'll be a more better-er day even, for more comparativeness. I'm just so excited to be at the labor room and delivery room tomorrow, I actually can't wait to wake up and return to Quezon Memorial Medical Center come morning. Haha.

Happiness--this is how it should feel like :)

I have 11 more minutes before I start studying again. Wait, make that 10 minutes.

Aaah, time. We lack that. Being a med student is life-changing and meaningful and fun and all, but the time they give us to learn is just not enough. I wish med students had 30-hour days, or 3-day weekends, or 6-day weekdays so that we could have more time preparing ourselves to save lives in the future.

But we all have to do with 24 hours. I've been spending my nights studying, my weekends studying, my free time studying. It's become a vicious cycle of study, eat, sleep a bit, go to class, then study, eat, sleep a bit and go to class again. Again and again and again. Of course there are moments of laziness and socializing here and there, but the bulk of it all is spent on being face to face with pages of transes and med books.

I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss having time for myself. I miss doing the things I love. But what the heck, I'm loving med school too, so maybe all this lack of time for everything outside med school will really pay off in the future. It really will.

***

Three minutes to go before 11:30! After I've gotten this time thought out of my system, off to my 2011 resolutions!

1. Study more. Yes, I didn't study enough last year. I know that because I'm aware that I can do so much more if I just pushed myself harder. My first exam of the year went great thanks to my newly discovered perfect personal study habits, but I just hope I can consistently pull it off.
2. Exercise. I miss jogging and doing my video exercise thingies, but due to lack of time and energy, I haven't exercised at all since 2011 set in. Here's to at least two physical activities per week!
3. Cook/bake. One dish/recipe per month is reasonable enough, right? I'm so excited for this! Will blog about my cooking escapades here.
4. Write. I should blog or write on my journal at least once a week. I love reading back on my previous jots because it reminds me of the things that mattered to me in the past and the things that made me happy.
5. Save. SUPER DUPER MEGA RESOLUTION! Hahaha. I eat and shop and buy a lot, my savings are kaput now :( So I'll start putting P5 and P10 coins into Boink (my piggy pank) from now on, and maybe stash at least P100 in my account from my weekly allowance. That'll do.
6. Keep the happiness and zest. I'm the type of person who gets bored easily. So paano na 'yan, med can be boring AND it's super tiring pa :| So I just need to constantly remind myself that I want this and this will all pay off in the future. And to prevent times of stress and burnout, I should allow myself to do something I like once a week. It can be as simple as eating froyo or watching an episode of a series or sleeping for more than four hours, or as grand as getting a massage (AAAAHHH KAILANGAN KO 'TO) or watching a flick or having a coffee date with myself, as long as I give myself a break, but only when I can afford it--time-wise and money-wise. Hahaha.
7. Stick to Him. Enough said :)

So there. Seven resolutions. I can do this! :)

Got Milk (Tea)?

I made my own milk tea today because I was feeling a bit off and tired, aside from needing a healthy source of fiber or some form of natural laxative to hinder my despicable regular incontinence. I finished my concoction in one chugging, which only means that I loved it and that I would surely be making more in the days to follow.

For one, it's cheap. I super love cheap thrills like this that makes you sunshine happy in an instant (I suddenly miss UP and the endless venues for cheap thrills huhu, but that deserves a different entry). Secondly, it's so easy to make. Warm 1/4 glass of water and add one bag of tea. Leave the bag soak for around 5-1o minutes. Then mix half a glass of skimmed milk to it (or normal milk), half a pack of Splenda (or whatever amount suits your taste), some ice, and tada! Cheap instant yummy milk tea. Nomnomnooom.

I got hooked on milk tea last December after our school choir organization, VoX, sold milk tea and food as their fund-raiser. I've recently had three milk tea experiences after being able to try it at school: two in a mall in Divisoria (was it 999 mall? Basta the one beside 168) and one in Megamall. I've spent the last 30 minutes googling and bloghopping on milk tea establishments here in the Metro, and I found two that I want to visit some time soon:

1. Serenitea - A fave of my med batchmates. They often have some delivered to our school.
2. Happy Lemon - You could opt to put an egg in your tea and/or indicate how much sugar you prefer added to it. How cool is that! And what's cooler is that Chris Tiu owns the Philippine branch of Happy Lemon! :3 LOL. Hahaha!

Okay, I'm excited already. Haha. Weird kooo. But yay to my milk tea!

Rewind 2010

As I type this, it'll be 2011 in 48 minutes. There are booms and blags and pops and ratatatatats everywhere, and although I'm nursing a headache, I'm smiling amidst the noise, smoke, and chaos outside. Last year, I answered a year ender survey. As another year comes to an end, here I am answering the same survey again. Let's see what 2010 brought into my life.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’ve never done before?

Wore a bikini top (haha). Been extremely afraid and anxious. Cried in front of a professor. Entered med school. Moved on and let go. Went to the beach with friends/orgmates. Became an Atenean. Attended the Ateneo Bonfire. Physically examined a real patient. Watched my fave local band play live. Fell asleep in a coffee shop. Spent hours and hours in Dunkin Donuts El Pueblo. Went to Banchetto. Marshal-ed in a fun run. Rode a zipline. Was given a surprise birthday party. Graduated from UP. Went to a cadaver exhibit. Made a video for my dad on Father's day. Voted in the National Elections.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I wasn't able to make any. Hahaha.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes, my cousins. Hello cute babies!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Thankfully, no.

5. What countries did you visit?
None. Boo.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
Again, more money! Haha. Hmm, proper med school study habits and exercise regimen, I guess? And more self confidence, self discipline and self efficacy please!

7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Oh shocks, dates. I can't even remember the date of my college graduation! Hahaha. So let me list some events/experiences that I will always remember:

• Weeks of waiting for my Chem 31 grade. It was the most difficult phase of my life because so much were at stake: graduating on time, graduating with my batchmates, getting into med school, the hefty med school reservation fee, my ego, my parents' expectations, etc). But thankfully, everything went fine. Thank you so much, Lord :') Life-changing, really.
• Crying in front of Doc Q. Epic. Haha.
• First ever Up Dharma Down gig!
• Graduating from UP. Oyeah, I'm a UP grad! The lovely sunflowers pa! ♥
• That day when I became free :)
• ASMPH Batch 2015's first get-together at NYPD.
• Hello, med school!
• That night at Dunkin Donuts El Pueblo when Armi Millare went in and I was stunned to death. Borbs got me her autograph :">
• Beer and chips night!
• Bonding with my Tgang loves! Quiapo tarot-reading, Ukay shopping, conversations and drama over coffee, Rosario, and so much more!
• My 21st birthday!
• My surprise birthday party! Thank you super, Borbs :)
• Releasing our college yearbook right before XXX (October 10, 2010), as promised. My job as EIC is finally done :)
• ASMPH Semender Party at Bonifacio High Street (and the early morning after that :p)
• Getting my Cardiopulmo module grade
• December 24 :p
• Noche Buena ♥

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting into med school and being happy about it :) And releasing our college yearbook on time, wuptedoo!

9. What was your biggest failure?
My biggest failure would probably be not getting into PGH, but I've accepted it wholeheartedly. I actually don't think it's a failure anymore. Getting in would have been so great, but as long as I'll be a doctor someday, then I'm A-okay :)

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing serious. The usual flu or fatigue every now and then. -- Same.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Hmm, my med books? Haha. And Schneider highlighters!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
A lot! My family, my forever girlfriends, my college loves, my med school pals, and of course, Borbs :)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

None :)

14. Where did most of your money go?
Transes, highlighters, photocopies, med school reviewers and books, Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Semestral break and Christmas break! Hahaha.

16. What song/s will always remind you of 2010?
Teenage Dream, Dynamite, and Just The Way You Are!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or sadder? – Happier, definitely.
Richer or poorer? – I guess richer, because I saved more money. But then I use it for my med school needs, so that's poorer me as well. Haha.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
REAL studying.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Cramming and procrastinating.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Spent it with my family. This year's noche buena was the best ever. Fun fun times :) Then we went to the Porciunculas and the Alfonsos, then spent some time with Kat after.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?

Hmm :)

22. How many one-night stands?
None.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
It all started with The Big Bang, hey! And of couse How I Met Your Mother, Gossip Girl, and Glee. -- I wasn't able to really follow a series or a show this year, but I got to watch some episodes of the same programs.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
None :)

25. What was the best book you read?

Clinically-oriented Anatomy by Moore. Haha.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
No new discoveries, I guess. I just loved Up Dharma Down, Coldplay, Katy Perry, and Taylor Swift more. Teehee.

27. What did you want and got?
Cardigans. A Littmann steth. A Domokun bag. Boat shoes. Pretty notebooks.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Despicable Me!

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 21 on my last birthday. I spent it at school (hello, cadaver dissection) and at Dunkin Donuts (cram reviewing, boo). We had a killer exam the following day, so no big celebrations for me. But thanks to Borbs and Kat, aside from all the people who greeted me, my birthday was simple yet happy. And a week after, Borbs held a surprise birthday party for me in UP, which was super duper sweet of him. My high school, college and med school friends were there. SOBRANG SAYA ♥

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Winning the P700 M lotto pot. Hahaha!

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?

Loud colors. Tucked-in tops. Shorts. Polos. Florals. Stripes. Casual vintage, basically.

32. What kept you sane?
My friends. My mom. Food. Sleep. My dreams.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
The Olsens. Rachel Bilson. Kate Beckinsale. Anne Curtis. -- Still them, plus Rachel Adams, Taylor Swift, Jessica Alba, Scarlet Johansson, Kate Bosworth, and Anne Hathaway.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The 2010 elections? Gaaah, I was (and still am) embarrassingly disconnected with the world because I don't get to watch TV or read the newspaper anymore. I learn about current events from Yahoo! Insider and from usap-usapans :|

35. Who did you miss?
My college and Psych Soc friends. My dad, too, because I didn't get to see him much this year.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

Borbs and the rest of my med school pals :)

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
Studying is far different from learning.

Be patient for things will get better.

Prayers do move mountains.

The One above will never let us down. We just need to have faith.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

You'll get by with a smile :)

Because it's Christmas

Today, I'm happy.

I'm happy not just because I got tons of new clothes and bags from my mom and Kuya Andre, a pair of my dream boat shoes from Kuya Adrian, a light-weight and durable book stand from my Kris Kringle daddy Vince, a super cute Domokun bag and new pretty notebook from Borbs, and the other lovely and valuable presents that I received from my loved ones.

I'm happy not just because of all the scrumptious, mouth-watering food that I've eaten and will be eating: Christmas ham, oatmeal cookies, cakes, revel bars, fruit salad, paella, pasta, Lola's superb caldereta, etcetera etcetera.

What I'm most especially happy about is at this time of the year, specifically during Noche Buena, our family is complete, as in complete complete.

Our family is far from perfect; honestly, I can say that we're not a nice or good or okay family, even. We're actually pretty detached from each other, except for me, I guess, because I'm pesky and clingy to my both my parents and to my three brothers. But every Christmas eve, we get to be this one whole family. No pressures. No issues. No conflicts. Just pure, happy and genuine family together time. Noche Buena is always simple here in our home, but it's also always fun and happy.

How we gossiped about this person 0r that family as if we were chatty, juvenile teeny boppers;

How we remembered one of our past drivers who ate all the lobster tails we ordered years back in Baguio and required at least a Jollibee or Mcdo meal (no carinderia meals for him :|);

How Dad was so proud and happy when I gave him an Ateneo School of Medicine and Public Health sticker for his car;

How we laughed so hard while opening Dad's gifts to each of us (we all received a USB-powered pen light from him, and he even gave himself one, too, gift wrapped and with a card hahaha);

How we disliked the red wine we received from a contractor but loved the 7-11-bought Tanduay Ice (tastes like Sprite);

How we remembered Ma's and our past househelpers' funny mishaps and lines;

How our youngest brother loved all the gifts that he received;

How we just ate so much, cried our hearts out laughing, and enjoyed each other's company.

These types of things happening are what I love the most about Christmas. They're priceless, and I would never ever replace them with anything in the world. I'm more than thankful that we have this one great family experience even if it's just once every year, and I thank the Lord for making it happen. It is in celebrating as a complete family that we celebrate His birth.

Happy, happy birthday, Jesus! Thank you so much for all the love and for blessing me with my loved ones :)

HAPPY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE! :)

Quickie

Sheltered

Shot in Quiapo

• So this is how being espresso-powered feels like. Add Kesha's Tick Tock (and some dancing and head-bobbing) and I think I can last until 5AM like this. I will make this Scope pubmat pretty!
• Hay.
• Last two exams, two management papers, and one management report to go! Fight, Bea!
• I'm seriously loving the Gastro-intestinal-Nutrition module :) Well, except the Biochem part.
• Learning how to actually count calories from food and knowing the exact amounts of food groups needed by the body made me more food-conscious. I love thinking about health. Haha.
• Winter Wonderland by Jason Mraz ♥
• Christmas shopping in a few!
• CHRISTMAAAS ♥

Being Super

Today, our prof brought her 6-year old son with her to class. While she was lecturing on how lipids are metabolized by the body, his son--bored and restless--took his pants down in the middle of the room and exposed his butt to everyone. Another time, he made peace signs on the projected slides. He counted the number of ATP produced in the metabolic reaction with us. He also adorably hugged his mom's hips while she was discussing.

We were undoubtedly distracted by him, but it was kind of a good distraction for me. I was inspired by the distraction, actually. That's two of my biggest dreams, right then and there. To be a good doctor and to be a good mother at the same time. It can be done, it can be done. Yay happy vibes :)

My Source of Sanity

...my source of love and strength :)

Just messing around with my adorable mom, who I missed badly since I didn't see her for four days. Now I miss Dad, too :(

Okay, back to the liver. Effin' hepatic segmentation.

Trials

I don't want to rant about how draining my week had been anymore because nothing changes; every week in med school is hell week. It's just a cycle of trying to stay awake and alert to listen to endless lectures, trying to stay awake to study the endless lectures you didn't understand in class because you couldn't stay awake and alert enough, and trying to squeeze into your heads the endless lectures you didn't understand in class because you couldn't stay awake and alert enough but eventually failing to do so because they are just so much (and because you couldn't stay awake and alert enough to understand them all either). Week in, week out, life's like this. This is our reality as med students.

And I know, it'll also just be redundant and useless if I keep on complaining about how crazy med school is and how it sometimes takes the life out of me when med school life is inadvertently like that. I want to stop asking myself if I made the right decision in pursuing medicine. I want to stop being confused if this is what I really want to do for the rest of my life. I want to stop doubting my capabilities and capacities as a person whenever I don't perform well as a med student.

But I just can't. I can't stop ranting. I can't stop being lost. I can't stop being anxious. I can't stop being afraid. Med school is testing me and pushing me to my limits, and I don't know if I can and want to still handle it. It's not just the work load, stress, and uncertainty, of course. A lot of other factors add to all this confusion. The bottom line remains, nevertheless, on whether my heart really lies in this profession or not.

Thankfully, having young, fresh grad doctors as preceptors somehow inspired me. Seeing them looking (gorgeously) youthful yet professional, knowing they got through 5++ years of info overload torture, hearing how great and adept they are in and out of class, and feeling how they are fulfilled to be where they are right now--all these made the craziness of med school a bit bearable. It really is tough, and no one can't do anything about it. But the dire work will definitely pay off after a couple of years, right? If I survive all these, I will be like the preceptors who I look up to now. If I just stop being so unmotivated and scared and push myself to do more, I will finish this and I will become a good doctor, too.

So push, Bea. Push.

:)

Bluer Than Blue

One sem break Monday, I went with my mom to the south to check out their project at NAIA 3. The sun was high and the sky was lovely blue, so I could not resist taking some photos.

The NAIA 3 landmark that my mom, dad, and brother are working on. Can't wait to see it when it's completely done!

We then drove to the The Fort to wait for my eldest brother. Hello, sky and skyscrapers.