GAAAAAAAH.

AGrkjhareQfG3495YGeDfk. E@grgeEgragfege*hknrgawefv. AKfhnebfrleseer45. hEkfnRERejrgWtgnjrs!!!!

fjfesjrefgfrstf.

@_@

:((

=((

:-s

:|



Who's stressed?

Cakes Donuts Pastries Yogurt Hello Panda

It sucks that I have so many YUMMY sweet stuff that's ready for some sweet devouring, but I can't eat them because I have a sore throat :(

(Or I do eat a piece or some spoons or a slice, then gobble on some Strepsils right after HAHAHA)

Anyway, a birthday post soon! Yay to 21 years!

For My New Blog Reader

Welcome!

And thank you for today ♥

Being the EIC

Our 2nd yearbook proof is on my lap right now, and I just can't help but feel proud and happy.

Onti na lang. Onti na lang talaga :)

Another Year

In a couple of days, I'll be turning 21.

Twenty-one.

Bente uno.

10+10+1.

2NE1.

Okay, ang corny ko na. Haha.

But really, 21? I can't believe how fast I've grown already! Back when I was still in grade school, I would always imagine myself as a mature, sophisticated, confident, accomplished, and strong 20-something-year-old. But looking at my actual self now.. Uhh. 'Yun lang. Uhh lang. Hahaha.

But then Psychology taught me that ideal selves are really just ideal selves. We could aim to be our ideal selves, but what matters first and foremost is our actual selves and how we deal with our own realities. So what is my current reality? Apparently, there's med school. And studying. And more studying. And much more studying. Of course my med school social life is awesome, if not too much, actually. I have great friends and a supportive family. But basically, that's it. My life now simply revolves around med school and how to survive it.

And so as I turn 21, let me list down the things that I would love to have/do/accomplish, both med and non-med-related, before the year ends. Yes, before the year ends is a pretty long time, but with med school, being realistic is the key to everything. Haha. So here is a wild mix of my resolutions, aspirations, dreams, wishes, and luhos that I plan on making come true for the remaining months of 2010:

• Get good grades, especially for the toxic Head and Neck module.
• A brown, spacious vintage body bag.
• Avoid coffee and drink more tea. My hands trembled like crazy the last time I drank a grande iced Caffe Mocha. I haven't drank coffee ever since. Although these don't wake me up the same way coffee does, the Lyons Jasmine Tea that I bought and the Oolong Tea that Ma got me from her recent trip to China are doing wonders for my digestion, so yay.
• Lose ze extra pounds by eating more fruits and vegetables, cutting down on the sweets (no more donuts!), fast food and junk food, and consuming only half a cup of rice for every main meal.
• Try to exercise at least twice a week.
• Visit an art gallery.
• Watch a play.
• A Rockin' Body DVD! No YouTube or downloadable ones available online yet eh :(
• Determine the perfect study habits for me. Where? What time? What strategy? Books or trans or both books and trans?
• Save up! P200-savings every week.
• Go to Cubao X.
• Frozen yogurt, always and forever.
• Stick to my beauty regimen. My goal: get clearer, more radiant, less porous skin.
• Paint. I've been planning on painting my own canvass bag, but I haven't gotten the chance to buy a plain canvass bag nor to sew myself one.
• New paintbrushes. Mine's a bit dilapidated already, especially sizes 3, 5, and 11.
• Take more photos. I hope I could go somewhere and just shoot shoot shoot photos. Or a random, wala lang photoshoot would also be nice. Be my model? Hehehe.
• Collect more pretty notebooks/journals/pads.
• Bite Club burger/Wendy's Baconator/Charlie's burger, or any enormous and grilled hamburger!
• Blog at least thrice a week.
• A new camera with nice MP. Or a toy/lomo/polaroid camera!
• Girly boat shoes. I'm saving up for a Sole Service Manila pair.
• Learn how to apply make-up.
• Bake cupcakes. I was initially planning on saving up for an oven, but that's me going overboard. Change of profession na? Haha. So the opportunity to make and bake some cupcakes somewhere (hmm, at my Lola's? I actually have no idea where yet haha) would be more than enough for me.
• Go to my dentist and have my braces adjusted after so long. Ako na ang pasaway na pasyente.
• An Ateneo jacket.
• An Ateneo shirt.
• Pretty, artistically-made, and creative Adarna children's books. So far, I have five. Time to expand my collection.
• Have long hair that's wavy at the ends (but I don't think my hair will grow long enough for that this year, boo).
• Get a massage and a foot spa.
• Watch an Up Dharma Down gig.
• Eat at Banchetto.
• Ride the Pasig Ferry again.
• More maong shorts, lovely skirts and dresses, and breezy, loose tops.
• Try to visit Dad and Jay in Tanay at least once a month.
• Play frisbee.
• Use the roller skates my mom bought me in China. Haha.
• Go to the beach. But first, I must strive for a beach body. Haha.
• A Domokun bag! I saw a girl in Ortigas with a Domokun backpack, so there's probably one in Greenhills.
• Watch all episodes of How I Met Your Mother, Grey's Anatomy, and The Big Bang Theory. I miss Barney, McDreamy, and Sheldon!
• Join an art competition, kahit small-time lang. Just so I could exercise my right hemisphere.
• An external hard drive or a high-capacity flash drive.
• Hugs please. Me loves hugs!
• Play basketball (on a real basketball court and not just arcade basketball haha).
• Learn to prioritize.

Why A Medical Profession?

Reposted from one of my old blogs:

Simple lang 'yan. Medicine is not for everyone talaga. Ilan ilang tao lang ang dapat maging doktor.

Kung gusto mo mag-abroad, mag-nursing ka.
Kung gusto mo maging prestigious, mag-politics ka.
Kung gusto mo sumikat, mag-artista ka.
Kung gusto mo yumaman, mag-business ka.

Pero kung gusto mo talaga maging manggagamot sa kabila nang lahat, kung gusto mo talaga tumulong sa kapwa mong maysakit, kung alam mo na wala kang ibang gustong gawin kundi magdoktor, kung alam mo matalino at matiyaga ka, at kayang bayaran ng magulang mo ang matrikula mo, mag-medisina ka. Kung kaya mong maghirap, magpuyat, magsakripisyo ng 10 taon mahigit, mag-medisina ka. Kung ayaw mo, huwag mo, at huwag magpapilit sa magulang.

-eclipse83, Peyups forum

All Piled Up

Even my cute stuffed toy is pooped because of med.

Facing Death

I know I've either been microblogging or posting in bullets lately because it's easier and quicker. Blame it on my wicked med school schedule and requirements. But reading my previous posts, I realized that short and structured entries still aren't the same as entries made of strings of words and paragraphs. It's like there's something missing; it's as if the spirit of the post is lost without an accompanying story-telling to it. Or maybe I just missed writing lengthy entries.

Whatever it is, at least here I am, trying to compose a decent paragraph-filled entry again. There's actually so many things to write about if I only had the time, and it's sad that I wasn't able to write about them when the memories were still fresh and real. So now, I'll just type type type away and see where my current sabaw and coffee-fueled self will take me.

***

They say that you're officially a medical student when you start cadaver dissection. It's been more or less three weeks since we entered that particular phase of our med school life, and all I can say is that it's been life-changing.

I dissected a frog, a cat, and even a cockroach before, but dissecting an actual human being is certainly different. Faaaar different. Although a part of me has grown quite used to the tedious slicing and cutting done almost everyday, the whole experience of opening a body of a person is still somehow unreal to me. I think it's probably because our cadaver's face is still covered with cheese cloth, and all we got to see and touch recently were his upper and lower extremities. Possibly, the fact that I haven't seen his face--how his lips curve, what shade his eyebrows are, how his nose look, or what facial expression he left before he passed away--is why I can carry on dissecting him without being scared or at least moved in an all new level.

I know I shouldn't be scared. I should even be thankful because this person gave his body for us to learn and be able to save people in the future. But honestly, I can't help but be afraid. Why? Because I am afraid of losing people. I am afraid of death.

Having a cadaver in front of me reminded me of how people can come and go so instantly. In a snap of a second, in a flash of light, in a speck of a moment, we can lose the people we love. And it made me think about the people who our cadaver left behind. I know it's none of my business, but certain questions brushed my mind: Do his loved ones know that he's gone? Why didn't they claim his body? Do they know where he is? Do they miss him?

In addition, I thought about how death will inevitably arrive, whether we like it our not. We can likewise lose our own lives in a snap of a second, in a flash of light, in a speck of a moment. This then made me wonder about our cadaver and the person who he was. Did he know he was about to die when he did? What was he like? What did he do? What were the things that he loved? What were his fondest memories? What defined his life?

I know all these questions of mine will remain as questions. Next week, we will be able to see our cadaver's face as we dissect his head and neck. Although I'm still not ready, I am hoping that wherever our cadaver is right now, he is aware that we are very grateful for the sacrifice that he offered to us and that we will not put his gift to waste. Also, I would like to thank him for reminding me that not only is life lived, but is it is also shared. And it is never too late to make a difference in other people's lives, just like how he made a difference in mine.

Thank you for sharing your life to us. May God bless your soul.

Domokun!

Gaaah, I want!

Butterflies

Instantly fell in love with this mash up.

This song also rocks my socks.

Oh, love :)

It's during times like these when my passion, strength, and determination are tested.